Is It Worth It To Enter Relationship Counseling?

Relationship counseling is one of the most common type of counselling sessions you can find. About 85% of the couples went through some form of relationship counseling. In most cases, couples who went through the entire course of relationship counselling do emerge as happier and find life to be more complete.

To dispel the myths surrounding relationship counseling, it is important to know that it is not about winning or losing or placing blame. The central focus of the counseling is to develop the communication skills needed to learn from your partner and balance your needs with theirs.

Why Am I Still In Love While My Ex Is Not - Practical Advices To Rekindle Things

You may be reaching a stage in your relationship where you ask "While I am still in love, my ex does not feel the same way", and this is a nightmare for you to be in. How to save your relationship when your ex does not really seems interested in? You may be glad to know that you can rekindle your love with your ex by following some of the practical advices below:

When you approach a situation where you are saying to yourself, "I am still in love, my ex wants nothing to do with me", it may be time for you to sit down and take something of an inventory of your relationship, not only in its current state but the last state experienced before the breakup actually occurred.

Is there anything that you have the power to change or undo in order to restore better feelings between you and your ex? Now is the ideal time to figure this out for your own self.

"What do I do if while I am still in love, my ex does not want anything to do with me?"

The first thing that you need to do is to figure out why your ex is avoiding you. If tensions are still too high following the breakup, then the clear solution is to back off and give him or her some time to chill.

If your ex is avoiding you for a specific reason then it may be more advantageous to figure out why. If you cannot ask your ex specifically, you may want to ask any mutual friends that you have to see if you can score some insights about the current tension and what it is that will restore your ex's faith in you again.

Here is some practical advices:

When I realized that I was still in love, my ex still did not seem all too keen on rekindling things with me. I figured I had two different routes that I could take: I could give up on the fact that I was still in love, my ex coming out as the winner in the situation, or I could find some way to truly rekindle things, knowing that it would take work but would have much better potential results. So here's what I did:

* First, without letting on that I was still in love, my ex and I sat down and had a conversation about what "broke down" in the relationship to create the break up in the first place.

* Then I separated myself from my ex for a while so I can have a clear mind and so I could formulate a plan for rekindling things.

* When I felt confident, I re-approached my ex and we started talking about rekindling things again. I was surer of myself and was more obvious about the fact that I was still in love, my ex responded well to my confidence and we ended up rekindling things.

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4 Tips On How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

1. Be Yourself:

The first important tip that you should follow on how to get your ex girlfriend back is to just be yourself. If you really want to have a good try at getting your ex girlfriend back, you need to become the person that your ex was attracted to in the first place.

Too many people in this situation would want to act macho or clingy, both of which are terrible things to do to an ex that has already expressed her desire to have space from you. You need to act like your normal behavior around your ex and make her realize that you are a great person that she likes. You will have a good chance of getting your ex girlfriend back only when she
realizes how much she misses you.

2. Less Contact is Better:

Another good tip for you to follow is that less contact with your ex girlfriend is better. This is actually another one of those tips that is counter-intuitive for some people. A lot of people would be tempted to try and get into as many situations with their ex as possible in order to have the maximum exposure to them.

This is something that is likely to push them out of your life for good. Your ex broke up with you and that means that they voluntarily decided that they wanted space from you. Give them that space and respect their privacy. Be nice and yourself to them when you do get a chance to see them and maybe they’ll start to pick up the things that made them want you in the first place.

3. Move On Slowly:

Another thing that you can do is to move on slowly. This is not something that will help you to answer the question on how to get your ex girl back?. Instead, this will put your mind back into healthy mode. Chasing fanatically after your ex girlfriend is generally not a good idea, especially if your ex is the one who decided to end the relationship.

Most of the time, they’re not coming back to you. If you move on slowly and start to realize that there are other trees in the forest, you will be much healthier mentally. That will mean you have got much more positive body language which in turn will attract your ex whenever both of you meet each other.

4. Don’t Blow Opportunities:

The thing about attempts to get your ex back is that you can undo weeks or even months of decent work with one stupid mistake committed in the heat of the moment. If you do the things discussed above, your ex may want to continue the relationship with you again.

If she does, ensure you have the momentum to continue doing those things. Be yourself, be honest and above all else do not stalk them. If you suddenly start to become needy and desperate, your ex will notice the change some distance away and you will instantly kill all the efforts you’ve put in.

Is Writing Letters To Get Your Ex Back Really A Good Idea

Here is a question that people have all the time. Is writing letters to get your ex back really a good idea? There are many people that write letters, text messages, e-mails and just about every other form of text-based correspondence that you can think of on a daily basis.

Many of these people will resort to that form of communication when trying to get an ex-lover to fall in love with them again.

In order to truly comment on how effective this method is, we need to examine both the good points and the bad points about it. The good to writing letters is that they will allow you to express feelings that you might not otherwise be able to express.

There are plenty of people that can say more in text than they’d ever be able to say verbally. So if letters are helping you with the communication process, they can definitely be a good thing.

On the other hand, letters are also quite impersonal. People that are broken up with over the phone, over an instant messaging program, through mail or even by text-message are people that tend to really hold grudges.

The most honest way to break up with someone is in person, although many people just don’t have the gumption to do it this way. Just as this is true with breakups, so too is it true with everything else related to relationships. If you want to get your ex back, the letter might not be the best way to communicate that information.

This is actually even more evident if you go back and look at the previous good point about writing letters. Even though they can help you communicate things that you find hard to communicate verbally, your ex probably already knows that. Therefore, learning to communicate those things verbally shows that you can change for the better for your ex and that is something that is more likely to make them come back to you than a written letter.

Generally speaking though, all of this might be a bit of an academic debate. The reason for that is that many times the direct approach is not the best one when it comes to getting your ex back. Writing letters to get your ex back by definition involves the direct approach.

If your goal with the letter is to start up the relationship again, you can do nothing but take the direct approach. The closer to the breakup you write the letter, the less likelihood there is of the direct approach being able to work.

Most people would advise that you go with the indirect approach. Let your relationship with your ex grow back into friendship after the breakup and then take the opportunity to reignite the relationship when it comes along.

That is far more indirect than direct in nature and naturally does not involve the writing of any letters. This means that at best, there is debate going back and forth about how beneficial letter writing actually is.

Heart Break - 5 Ways To Get Over Heart Break

Getting over heart break is just as difficult as getting over addition to cigarettes. In fact, some research has shown that love has a hold not only on our heart, but also on the pleasure centers found within our brains.

The bottom line here is that love has power over us not only emotionally but also neurologically as well. Heart break can really hurt, but that doesn't mean you cannot find healthy and productive ways to get over it.

If you are currently dealing with the pain and the grief associated with heart break, here are five ways to get over heart break:

1. Do good things to yourself. You can get out of this terrible self-imposed emotional prison that you are suffering right now simply by re-focusing in the opposite direction from your problems. Do something exciting and enjoyable for yourself if you want to lift yourself up into a better state of mind.

Take a short holiday, or enroll in a class or a creative endeavor. Take yourself out to dinner and enjoy an evening out on the town by yourself, taking in the sights. Give yourself a feeling of joy and centeredness and you will get over your heart break.

2. Envision your life as being capable of improving beyond what you had planned. Everything that happens in our lives has pros and cons, including the relationship you just left. Think about how this change could actually benefit you, and focus on the good that can come from the breakup rather than the bad.

3. Go out with somebody completely new. You may not want to think about flirting with someone romantically, but if you give it a chance, and work up the courage to go out and do some innocent flirting, you may be surprised at the results.

Do some innocent flirting out in public, in the grocery store, the post office or the gym. Say hello to someone that you find attractive, and let your gaze linger for a few seconds longer than you normally would. A little bit of flirting, even if it never ever leads anywhere, can be an excellent way to get into the groove again.

Important: The “Flirt” advice is an intricate part of the 5 ways to get over heart break, but please use your common sense to prevent yourself to get into an unsafe situation.

4. Dress up and doll yourself for a new look. Nothing will get you out of a stupor like a makeover, a new exercise regimen, a brand new diet, or tuning up your wardrobe a bit. It takes a little bit of effort, but it is well worth the results when you start feeling better about yourself in the way that you are meant to.

5. Consider Making Up with Your Ex. This is the last option available to you. Do you want to try to rekindle things with your old flame? Handle things efficiently and you may be able to make up with your lover of the past. Seek advice from the experts, though, to make sure that you do not get the door slammed in your face.

Very obviously, the 5 ways to get over heart break, mentioned above are not the “panacea” of all heart break, but they will go a long way in helping your broken heal.

What To Do When You Miss Your Ex - 7 Strategies You Can Use

Do you miss your ex? Are you having trouble moving on? Here are seven strategies to pursue when you miss your ex.

1. Decide that it is over. As long as you think there is a chance to get back together, you will continue to experience feelings of missing your ex girlfriend or boyfriend. If you practice strategies like sending messages or calling them trying to catch them off guard, you will continue to keep the feelings alive. When you miss your ex, try one of the other strategies presented here.

2. Get rid of all of their stuff. Do an exchange where you give them their stuff and they give you yours. Don’t hold on to physical items for sentimental reasons, it will just remind you of how much you miss your ex. If there are small things that you don’t give back (such as a tooth brush or a comb) throw them away. You don’t need the constant reminders.

3. Write them a letter – then burn it. One reason why you continue to miss your ex is because you haven’t gotten them out of your system. So, write a letter pouring out all of your feelings about the relationship and the break up. When you have released your emotions, then get rid of the letter. There is something emotionally satisfying about watching your words go up in smoke.

4. Reconnect with your friends. Sometimes when you get in a hot and heavy relationship, your ties to friends and even family wither. If this is the case, reconnect with your friends. Redevelop relationships that you have let simmer. Your friends and family love you even if your ex doesn’t anymore.

5. Make new friends. One of the reasons you miss your ex is because he or she took up so much of your time. Now, in addition to the intense emotional void you are feeling, you have time on your hands. Fill that time with new activities or interests.

Take a class at the local university’s extension program. Learn to do the tango. Join a co-ed softball team. Volunteer to clean up the park through an environmental program. When you keep busy, you will find that closing the time void also helps you close the emotional void.

6. Get a pet. A dog, cat, or other pet can help you reconnect to what is real. A pet needs your attention and love. A pet can also give you love. When you miss your ex, you can reach out for a pet who loves you.

7. Start dating other people. The world moves on. There are lots of other trees in a forest. Once you reconnect with your friends, start new activities, and even start to walk the dog, you will begin to see all of the opportunities you have with the opposite sex.

Don’t worry that a first date has to lead to a complicated relationship when you are not ready for one. Just go out and enjoy yourself. Soon, you will stop feeling that you miss your ex so much.

Follow these seven steps and you will soon find that you are not saying you miss your ex at all!

How Can I Save My Marriage When Nothing Seems To Work

Saving a marriage just before divorce can still be possible, but to answer the question “How can I save my marriage?” is more difficult than the Sunday paper advice columns.

You can do everything “right” but still end up hitting the wall. Sound familiar? If so, here are some tips for getting around some of the common sticking points that throw the reconciliation process off the tracks.

1. Decide what you want from your relationship!

There are as many types of marriages as there are married couples and as long as they work for the couple and any kids involved, it will be fine. However many of us try to wonder about “How can I save my marriage?” without knowing exactly what we’re trying to “save” in the first place.

After all, it’s not the piece of your marriage certificate that you’re trying to save, but it is actually the relationship between you and your spouse.

Spare yourself some time to think of the type of relationship you want. Once you have a clear idea of the marriage you want, communicate it to your spouse. Hopefully, both of your visions will be similar, but if not, at least you’ll be able to know what have been holding your marriage up.

2. Be honest about your behavior!

Never say bad things about your spouse but always be respectful and listen attentively to your spouse. You know deep down that’s how you should be communicating to each other, but does your actions really follow what you are thinking?

The way we talk to our partners tends to become a reflex over the years, so you need to pay attention to prevent any problems that might occur. One good way of doing this is to treat your spouse as a friend. If it’s not polite enough to say to a friend, then it’s not polite enough to say to your spouse, either.

3. Release the blame!

One of the first steps towards repairing a marriage is to stop blaming the your spouse for anything that have been done wrongly. Let’s face it, playing the blaming game will go nowhere and it does not give you a solution. When you point a finger to your spouse, another 4 fingers point back to yourself.

So long as there are only two of you in your marriage, both of you are each 50% liable for any problems comes up. Even if your spouse has been unfaithful, you still need to address anything you might have done that lead to that or, in some cases, lead to your marriage to an incurable swinger.

4. Commit to improving!

Once you’ve managed to get past the blame game stage, the next step in answering the question “How can I save my marriage?” commitment to making efforts to treat each other better. It can help to pick certain things you want to work on like nagging less or spending more quality time together.

These tips will get you started towards making up with your spouse, but naturally there’s a lot more to it that this. It’s no good to keep asking yourself, “How can I save my marriage?” without taking action to get some qualified advice and take action to improve your relationship as soon as possible. Whether you decide to go in for counseling or find a good self-help book, do something for your marriage today.